


i just gotta know what you and i would feel like (oh)

by unsaidsedentary



Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, lucy being an absolute queen, the others are minor characters sorry, this is my first posted fic idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 01:31:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsaidsedentary/pseuds/unsaidsedentary
Summary: "You'll get your boys, don't worry," she assures, tip toeing a little to give him a chaste kiss before pulling back. She crosses her arms and cocks a hip, and Jamie feels himself melting with the affection he has for this truly devious woman. "I have a plan, of course,"Or, the fic in which Lucy is the best wing-woman in existence.





	i just gotta know what you and i would feel like (oh)

"I found out that the guys have all been banging each other for months now,"

 

Lucy blinks, trying to school her face into a neutral expression instead of smiling in amusement. She sets down her book and cup of tea, tucking a soft blond lock behind her ear before peering up at her husband.

 

Jamie is leaning over the back of the couch, glasses resting low on the bridge of his nose from his forehead scrunched in deep thought.

 

"And you want in, love?" She guesses softly, reaching her hand up and stroking over his bearded jaw to break his concentration. He finally looks down at her, sharp brown eyes glimmering in some sort of unknown turmoil.

 

He sighs, "If they wanted me in they would've asked me by now, eh?" And Lucy is rising up, climbing over the couch fluidly in her pajamas to hold Jamie close and rub at his broad shoulders.

 

She's not at all surprised, seeing as Jamie had happily found his place years ago among a group of non-straight dorks in open relationships. She and Jamie had never officially announced that the two of them routinely encouraged each other to explore other lovers, but well, she also didn't think Barry, Ben, Mike and James would be so dense.

 

"They might've thought you had no interest, darling. I'm sure they'd love to eat you up, you just have to show some initiative,"

 

The thing is - Jamie's pretty sure it's not that easy. He knows he's by far not the best looking guy around, no matter what Lucy insists, and his mates are all gorgeous. Not just separately, but as one whole. The dynamic nearly leaves Jamie hazy with excited possibilities every time he starts thinking about it.

 

It had taken him quite a while to catch on at first. Actions that skirted the line between friendly and intimate, comments that hinted at something behind the curtain.

 

It wasn't hard to imagine them paired off, watching Mike take Ben by the waist and swing him around the kitchen, hearing Barry giggle in an unexpectedly bashful manner every time James leaned down to whisper in his ear.

 

But of course it wasn't as simple as that, as Barry started routinely perching in Ben's lap on the couch, and Ben took to hand feeding James bites of food as if they were lovebirds, and James' snark softened considerably around the edges whenever Mike was around.

 

The culmination of it finally clicked recently, and dammit, Jamie really does want in.

 

It's not like he could just start flirting, because his personality is comprised mainly of charming his friends into a laugh with innuendos. They'd see nothing out of the ordinary.

 

Calling a meeting and spelling the whole thing out also seems like a disastrous idea. Jamie couldn't possibly imagine taking this beautiful arrangement of these perfect people that he loves so intensely, and throwing a wrench right in by making them feel somehow obligated.

 

Five seems like a full house to him, as well. Even if he was welcomed in, how long would the invitation last? If Jamie joined in on their enticing snog fest, he figured it was only a matter of time before he accidentally hurt Ben's feelings, or stepped on James' blatantly dominant toes.

 

Jamie's pulled out of his ruminating by Lucy taking his hands and squeezing them as she hums in thought.

 

"You'll get your boys, don't worry," she assures, tip toeing a little to give him a chaste kiss before pulling back. She crosses her arms and cocks a hip, and Jamie feels himself melting with the affection he has for this truly devious woman. "I have a plan, of course,"

 

-   

 

"I'm not sure about this, Luce,"

 

Jamie glances warily around the gigantic indoor shopping plaza, following his wife, who is marching forward with unerring determination. He hasn't been to a mall in a few years honestly, thrift shops have always been just fine by him.

 

Lucy looks back at him, pausing to hook their arms together so they walk side by side. "You've got to trust me, babe," she says, "you won't have to do any courting of your own; once we make you irresistible those lads will be falling all over you,"

 

Jamie huffs out incredulously, head still swiveling this way and that to catch a look at the myriad of confusing looking stores they pass.

 

"What, is there a fucking Weight Watchers in this plaza," he mutters a bit dejectedly. He's not surprised when he gets a little whack on the head, accompanied by a loving yet admonishing " _ Jay _ ,"

 

She doesn’t let him protest after that, and the next few hours pass by in an exhausting and exhilarating blur. He tries on what seems like dozens of different outfit combinations of all styles, gets a smart haircut and beard trim Lucy won’t even let him peek at until the end, and even ends up in an optical shop picking out some bold tortoiseshell frames that gets him an enthusiastic beam from Lucy. 

 

He feels absolutely haggard by the end, cuddled into her side on the train with numerous shopping bags on both of their laps. It’s been quite an enlightening experience for sure, but Jamie can’t help but wonder if it will all end up being a waste, if the others will even notice.

 

Afterwards he’s of course roped into a fashion show back at the house, goaded into doing a twirl in his new trousers and button ups. Lucy wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him long and slow as they dance around the sitting room like a pair of loons. “Dazzling,” she murmurs against his lips, and Jamie might just believe her.

 

-

 

He’s pretty sure he regrets it a bit the next morning. Lucy wakes him up with breakfast, helps him pick out some slightly tight dark wash jeans and a v-neck accompanied by a green flannel that makes his new glasses pop, and ushers him out the door.

 

He places his bag down by his desk when he finally arrives at the office, wandering into the recording studio to find James and Ben chatting against the kitchen counter. Normally they’d both notice him and offer a matching “good morning,” but today isn’t exactly normal.

 

Ben sees him first and full on stops his words in their track, blinking rapidly before coming back to his senses and offering Jamie a weak grin. James picks up on him shortly afterwards, pale cheeks tinting a bit ruddy as his eyes seem to fight against the urge to give Jamie a once over. Jamie himself feels frozen to the spot, and is just about to make an awkward joke to break the atmosphere when Mike comes bounding in with Barry at his heels.

 

He gets a customary side hug before Mike even properly looks at him, but when he does Jamie sees a smirk strikingly similar to the one put on Lucy’s pretty face the night before.

 

“Oh wow, Jay, you look good. And I’m not taking the piss out of you for once,” is the compliment he receives, and feels a thrill in his chest when there are three affirmative echoes. Barry’s in front of him in a flash, gripping his chin and insistently pulling Jamie down a bit to his height. Curious eyes scan his face without scrutiny, and when he’s allowed to pull back Barry is nearly bouncing on his heels a little and breezily matching the smile of the others.

 

“I like it,”

 

It doesn’t stop there as the day goes on, and Jamie is getting increasingly flustered by the attention. It’s nothing particularly bold, Ben squeezes his arm and casually tells him how well the flannel suits him, Mike attempts to ruffle Jamie’s hair and James protests that he shouldn’t ruin it when it looks so nice. He keeps trying to sass back but every time it gets caught in his throat.

 

The weird state of almost turmoil he’s been simmering in all morning only worsens when he leaves the editing bay and comes back to the group nearly huddled together by James’ desk. He can make out Ben and Barry talking quietly, not quite whispering but definitely trying to keep something on the down low.

 

That in and of itself wouldn’t be concerning, except for the fact that all secretive conversation ceases as soon as his presence is noticed. Barry does an awful job at pretending to have been at James’ desk to ask him a question, and Ben and Mike sweep him away with video ideas as if nothing had ever happened.

 

The doubt is firmly planted at the back of his head now. An encouraging text from Lucy has him more at ease, but now when James gives him a joking pat on the ass and Barry enthusiastically enquires about where his shoes are from, his amused responses are tinted with the worry that they could just be poking fun at his expense.

 

Because Lucy loves his new look, but doesn’t she kind of have to? And maybe, no matter what he does, Ben, Barry, Mike and James will just never really be interested.

 

-

 

“God, I just really want him and he’s making it so  _ hard _ -”

 

“We all do, Baz, but he’s not ours.”

 

-

 

_ I really do have the best ideas,  _ Lucy surmises triumphantly, gliding around the studio in a silver flecked polka dotted number and a pair of kitten heels. She squeaks past dozens of guests, offering a sweet smile around her wine glass to the patrons even as her eyes focus on her target in the distance.

 

She’d left Jamie chatting amicably with a new business partner before allowing herself to get swept up in the happy little crowd. The atmosphere in the Sorted office, which has been shifted around a bit to accommodate a chill party, is teeming with people at every corner. _ It’s quite convenient _ , she muses,  _ that there’d be a company celebration so soon after Jamie’s makeover.  _

 

Which has done him very well. Through Jamie’s anxieties and a few late nights of reassurances, she can tell that the guys appreciate the mini transformation. She hasn’t seen any of them in a bit, but she felt quite smug when she first arrived, Jamie in tow. All of them are looking sharp and dashing in party attire, especially Barry in a dark plum blazer, but she firmly believes that Jamie is the eye catcher of the evening.

 

Lucy had gotten him into a slate grey vest and white dress shirt, with a tie that closely matches her dress. His shoes are matte black, as are his well fitting slacks. She had even gelled his hair pristinely, despite his fond insistence that he was perfectly capable of getting himself ready.

 

She finally arrives at her destination, resting a well manicured hand on Ben’s back from where he’s turned around fretting about hors d'oeuvres. He jumps a bit before offering an enthusiastic greeting with a sweet compliment on her curled hair.

 

They talk for a while, Lucy passing him her glass invitingly and encouraging him to wind down a bit. He carefully avoids the part of the rim with a lipstick smear, eyes shining and holding Lucy’s gaze while he sips. She tamps down an affectionate warmth in her chest, reminding herself that dear Ebbers is the only one of the bunch with zero interest in women.

 

Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t even have to prompt him to start talking about her husband.

 

“Are you the one responsible for working some magic on Jay?”

 

She grins without thinking about it much, beckoning him closer to speak privately.

 

“Yeah, all me,” Lucy says, “He was already a stunner, I just added a bit of refining. I’m glad you and the boys seem to appreciate my hard work,”

 

He’s blushing now, taking a few attempts of opening and closing his mouth before replying, “I won’t confirm or deny that, considering that it must be all for you,”

 

_ Dammit Ben, you’re supposed to be the clever one. Do I have to do everything around here? _

 

Lucy shrugs as gracefully as possible, taking her wine back and trying not to noticeably chug before letting a calming breath out.  _ Fuck it, do it for Jamie _ .

 

“On the contrary, love. Jamie’s been quite tense lately, I figured a fresh new look would give him the encouragement to find a nice man or four to take care of him like he deserves. I’m practically offended you lot haven’t ravished him yet.”

 

She doesn’t stay to see his reaction, sure it’s an amusing mixture of flabbergasted and befuddled, instead pulling him into a quick parting hug before rushing off with ros é turning worryingly in her stomach. Lucy  _ really  _ hopes she hasn’t fucked anything up big time.

 

She spends the majority of the event after that flitting between Haley and Kirsty, not letting on to the reason behind her fidgety energy. She sees Mike in passing schmoozing with whoever wants a piece of his attention, James sticking to some of the editors and camera people and cracking jokes, and Barry always coming back to Jamie’s side to listen to his enrapturing stories.

 

She catches Jamie’s glance and blows him a kiss, sighing when he returns it with an exaggerated wink. But Lucy can tell he’s noticed that Ben’s nowhere to be found.

 

-

 

Lucy isn’t present for the ensuing revolutionary workplace conversation hosted by four out of five Sorted members, but when her phone lights up with Jamie’s picture and personal ringtone she fumbles over herself to answer.

 

“You’re a fucking miracle worker, Luce. I can’t chat right now, got a couple of boyfriends to tend to, but I’ll see you tonight. Love you!”

 

She leans back in her chair and laughs delightedly.

**Author's Note:**

> huge thanks of course to all my pals in the sorted discord for encouraging me as i slogged through this fic, i love y'all
> 
> title is from "bad ideas" by tessa violet!


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